1 Get serious outfit envy
You’re trying to empty your mind and focus on the ujjayi breath, but all you can do is obsess over the instructor’s outfit. How is she so perfectly co-ordinated? And how does she have such a pretty, delicate sports bra when all yours look like deodorant-stained cycling shorts? Oh, for goodness sake, even her water bottle matches…
2 Dwell on how much you want to throttle your spinning instructor
Oh. Just. Shut. Up.
3 Wonder whether you’re convincing anyone when using a weights machine you have absolutely no idea how to operate
Any hope you had quickly dissolves when you see someone lifting on it properly and facing the opposite direction. Ah.
4 Two-time your PT
Oh, these abs? Yeah… all your hard work, Jim!
5 Wish the super-flexible woman in front of you would fall face-first during crow pose
Showing us all up, the cheek…
6 Secretly try to kick the person hovering behind your machine
They’ve brought it on themselves at this point.
7 Race against others on the treadmill
Oh, level eight? I raise you level 11! Oh, God, no I don’t.
8 Suddenly wish you’d worn underwear mid-downward facing dog
Usually swiftly following the realisation that your leggings are anything less than opaque. Soz!
9 Check out your neighbour’s resistance on the cross-trainer
…and instantly increase yours. Regret immediately follows.
10 Feel absolutely ridiculous in the stretching area
11 Sneakily slide off those extra weights from your bar during a pump class
Two yellows and a blue? You’re having a laugh, Carol.
12 And, lastly…
Slip out a fart in the middle of class and dramatically pretend it wasn’t you – we’re talking wrinkled nose, scanning the room for the accused – the full works. Don’t lie, we’ve all been there.
Have we missed one? Tweet us your taboo gym blunders using #healthuncovered – we’d love to hear them!