Improving movement
While medication to mimic or replace dopamine is used to manage Parkinson’s, and surgery to implant electrodes in the brain can also be carried out in severe cases, there are a number of ways that have recently been discovered to help people enhance their quality of life.
Last year, doctors at the Medical College of Georgia, USA, piloted an eight-week study that saw 18 people with Parkinson’s spend an hour playing Wii Sports three times a week, for four weeks. The patients – all affected by the disease on both sides of their bodies – played two games each of tennis and bowling, and one game of boxing. The games required whole body movements, balance and speed. Participants showed significant improvements in rigidity, movement and energy levels, and most participants’ depression levels decreased. But it’s not just virtual games that help – getting active in the traditional sense is encouraged, too. ‘Keeping active helps “oil” joints and muscles,’ says Dr Breen. ‘There is no need to run a marathon every day, but people with Parkinson’s should keep active to a level they are comfortable with – whether that means a 20-minute walk or a 10-minute jog.’
A study in The Cochrane Library this year supports this theory, finding that treadmill training can help Parkinson’s sufferers overcome difficulty walking – showing improved speed, stride length and distance covered. It may be the rhythmic nature of walking on a treadmill that helps sufferers. ‘People with Parkinson’s are often good at dancing because they move to a rhythm,’ says Dr Breen. ‘When someone with advanced Parkinson’s “freezes”, they can often start moving again by counting in their head “one, two, one, two” – they’ll start walking to that rhythm. The ticking of a metronome can also help to get people moving again.’
Indeed, a study by researchers at Washington University School of Medicine in 2008 showed that patients with Parkinson’s disease who took part in 20 regular tango dance classes showed significant improvements in balance and mobility, compared to patients who did conventional exercise. The tango classes included stretches, balance exercises, tango-style walking, footwork patterns and timing steps to music.
The Chinese martial art t‘ai chi – which is based on slow, controlled movements, developing strength, balance, posture and calm – has also shown encouraging results in helping Parkinson’s sufferers to overcome their symptoms. A study by the Washington University School of Medicine, published in 2008, found that people with mild to moderately severe Parkinson’s disease showed improved balance, walking ability and overall wellbeing after 20 t’ai chi sessions.

Mind matters
As well as motor symptoms affecting movement, Parkinson’s disease can cause non-motor symptoms including muscular pain and depression. Professor K Ray Chaudhuri, co-director of the National Parkinson Foundation Centre of Excellence, believes this is one area where Parkinson’s research and treatment has moved on: ‘The traditional way of looking at Parkinson’s disease is to address the motor symptoms, such as tremors, rigidity and balance. But we have started looking much more at the non-motor problems, as they tend to be what puts people in hospital – and what carers are most worried about. So far we have been quite blind to that.’
One Parkinson’s sufferer, Bob Taylor, has set up an art group for people with the disease. After tutoring recovering stroke and brain injury patients at a local hospital, Taylor realised the healing potential art therapy could have for people with Parkinson’s – helping them articulate their feelings and enhancing their emotional wellbeing. ‘People get so much out of it – it’s a release,’ he says.
Taylor also runs laughter therapy courses. ‘Laughter releases endorphins, which improve mood and relieve pain,’ says Taylor. Because 30 to 40 per cent of people with Parkinson’s experience depression during the course of the condition, mood-enhancing activities that encourage laughter can help.

Better diagnosis
It is not only in managing the condition that there have been strides forward, but in diagnosis too. Currently the condition is only diagnosed when sufferers start exhibiting motor symptoms, which occur after 70 per cent of the nerve cells in a specific part of the brain have died.
However, in April this year researchers at the University of Haifa in Israel found a way of using software to measure speech patterns and test if apparently healthy people have the condition. Because Parkinson’s damages muscles in the neck and mouth, it can also give sufferers a husky voice. The researchers claim that diagnosing patients earlier could prevent the damage of up to 60 per cent of the nerve cells in question.
Parkinson’s UK is also working towards earlier diagnosis. ‘We’re trying to build up a picture of what happens before people develop motor symptoms,’ says Dr Breen. ‘The earlier we can make a diagnosis, the more effective their treatment can be.’

Visit Parkinson’s UK at www.parkinsons.org.uk for more information.

What if there was a treatment that could improve your health, happiness and general wellbeing – and only took 20 minutes twice a day? You may assume this is a new miracle medication or ‘magic bullet’. However, it is in fact transcendental meditation (TM), a method practised by 6 million people across the world. While this type of meditation has been around for thousands of years, interest in it has gathered momentum recently because of its incredible health-promoting effects and because schools are starting to incorporate it into their curriculum. So what’s all the fuss about?
TM was founded by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi in India over 50 years ago. ‘He wanted to create a form of meditation based on a clear understanding of the nature of the mind and its relation to the body,’ says Colin Beckley, a TM teacher with The Meditation Trust. ‘It allows the mind to be still so the body can rest, heal and become more alert.’ The term often used in relation to TM is ‘restful alertness’. The idea is your mind transcends (hence ‘transcendental’) beyond thought to experience the source of all thought, known as ‘transcendental consciousness’ and with it, your innermost Self.
The technique is derived from Vedic tradition, an ancient Indian belief that predates many ‘modern’ religions such as Hinduism and Christianity. Maharishi travelled the world spreading the message and picking up thousands of followers, the most famous of which were the Beatles, who actually travelled to India in the 1960s to learn the technique. Other celebrity followers have included the film director David Lynch and the Sixties pop star Donovan. Lynch has proclaimed, ‘When I started meditating I had a real anger in me, and I would take it out on my first wife. Two weeks after I started meditating, this anger lifted.’

Meditation for all
TM can be practised by anyone, from children to the elderly, and is surprisingly simple to learn. It is necessary to go on a course to learn the initial technique from a qualified TM teacher – but once this is mastered, you can continue to practise TM as and when you want to.
Courses take four sessions on three to four consecutive days, one of which will involve one-to-one instruction from your TM teacher. They will assign you a mantra, which is a word you think of during your TM sessions. ‘Your mantra is a primordial sound that has deep resonance and allows your mind to be still and transcend consciousness,’ says Beckley. The follow-up days are designed to ensure you have all the knowledge you need to meditate at home. Once home, you’re encouraged to do TM for a maximum of 20 minutes, twice a day, preferably sitting down with your eyes closed. However, you don’t need to be alone – you can do it on the bus or train to work. Teachers claim the effect you get from 20 minutes of TM twice a day is as powerful as hours of other types of meditation, and is all you need to have fully restorative effect.
‘The beauty of TM is that you don’t need to spend years mastering it,’ says David Hughes, a TM teacher with The Maharishi Foundation. ‘It’s possible to have the same experiences after a year of TM as someone who’s been doing it for 20 years.’
Children can learn TM from the age of five. It’s a different technique to adult TM – it still uses a mantra, but children can do it with their eyes open while getting ready for school. From the age of 10, children meditate sitting with their eyes closed. The ease at which TM is picked up by children means it’s now being used in schools.

How is TM useful?
The health benefits of meditation have been well documented since the 1970s. ‘A study from Stanford University, USA, looked at the effect that TM could have on general anxiety, and found it was twice as effective as other methods used to treat it,’ says Hughes. More recently, it was discovered that in a group of heart disease patients, those who practised TM had a 47 per cent reduction in deaths, heart attacks and strokes, according to US research from the Medical College of Wisconsin and the Maharishi University in Iowa. What’s more, studies show it can reduce high blood pressure and insulin resistance, and lower breathing and heart rate, while improving concentration and alertness.
‘TM is unlike other types of meditation, which involve contemplation, visualisation or concentration,’ says Hughes. ‘It is effortless and designed to go beyond, or transcend, the thinking process into a deep state of restful alertness.’
TM practitioners are adamant about its ability to promote happiness. ‘TM allows you to find the inner peace that is central to our nature,’ says Beckley. ‘We spend so much time trying to find happiness through actions and possessions – a new car or iPod – we’ve forgotten true happiness comes from within. TM helps you unlock it.’

Meditation and education
Schools around the world are now using meditation, including TM, in their classes.
‘TM can have a very dramatic effect on children,’ says Derek Cassells, headteacher at the Maharishi School in Skelmersdale, Lancashire. ‘Students follow a normal curriculum, but start and end the day with a 10-minute TM session. As a result they are calmer, happier, and more receptive to learning. You often see improved creativity, confidence and acceptance of others.’
The school has three times the national average for A and A* grades at GCSE, but Cassells is quick to point out that it’s not just about results. In fact, it’s this obsession with exam grades that causes unnecessary stress for many young people. ‘Schools should provide a balance of education and personal development. Students shouldn’t just cope, they should thrive – TM can help them do this.’
The Maharishi School is an independent school, but there are now at least half a dozen state schools in the UK which have started using TM, and many more using variations on meditation to help keep children calm and happy. ‘It’s easy to introduce TM into schools, as there is no conflict with any curriculum and it’s so quick,’ says Cassells.
TM is a growing movement and its supporters hope that, with time, everyone can bring it into their lives. ‘If you look at life as being like a tree, TM are its roots,’ says Beckley. ‘If the tree keeps growing branches, but doesn’t put down roots, it will topple over. TM helps you put down roots, so the rest of your life can grow and be stable.’

‘TM worked for us!

Three people reveal their experiences of TM:

• Tracey Meaning, philosophy teacher: ‘Since I began practising TM I’ve noticed the effect I have on young people, it’s as if my calmness is infectious. I’ve found the learning process is much more organic because the atmosphere is so naturally peaceful. Misbehaviour is greeted with complete calm and resolved. I work in a recognised challenging school where students bring a multitude of personal issues with them every day, so TM helps diffuse any tense situations.’
• Ben, 26, ex-student, Maharishi School: ‘My time at the Maharishi School helped frame my appreciation of life and showed me where to look for happiness.’
• Phoebe, 28, ex-student, Maharishi School: ‘The Maharishi School helped me to conquer my shyness and become the confident person I am today.’

For more information about TM: The Maharishi Foundation: Call 0169 51213 or visit www.t-m.org.uk

For more information about the Meditation trust: Call 01843 841010 or visit www.meditationtrust.org

Click here to find out how writer Hannah Fox got on when she learned TM.

It’s hard to believe that with our standard of living at an all-time high in the UK, people can suffer from malnourishment. Yet, with an ageing population and more screening in hospitals and care homes, the problem of malnutrition has become a more obvious issue. ‘It’s estimated that three million people are affected by malnutrition,’ says Rhonda Smith, a spokesperson for the British Association of Parenteral and Enteral Nutrition (BAPEN). ‘Of those, one in three of them will be people admitted to hospital and one in four will be entering care homes.’
When people imagine the effects of malnutrition, they may think of famine-ravaged people from developing countries. The reality is more complex. In fact, it’s actually possible to be malnourished and obese. ‘Obese people may be eating foods which are energy dense but not nutrient dense, so they could be lacking in some vitamins and minerals,’ says Eileen Steinbock, chairman of Food Counts, a specialist group for dietitians within the British Dietetic Association (BDA).

Symptoms of malnutrition
The signs to look out for are:

• Unexplained or rapid weight loss – even without weighing the person, it may be apparent to family and friends because clothes look too big or jewellery such as wedding rings look loose.

• Tiredness and decreased mobility because muscles waste away.

• Wounds taking longer to heal and being more prone to pressure sores.

• Difficulty staying warm.

• Slow immune response – you pick up infections easily and take longer to recover.

• Low libido and fertility problems.

Diagnosis is a ‘MUST’
Many cases of malnutrition are picked up when you’re admitted to hospital or a care home. ‘It’s not currently compulsory in England to screen all patients for malnutrition – some hospitals do it automatically, some don’t,’ says Smith. Malnutrition and its associated problems cost the NHS £13 billion year, and BAPEN would like to see England follow the example of Scotland, and have mandatory malnutrition testing on admission to hospital. They have created a specific screening method known as MUST (Malnutrition Universal Screening Tool), which is a set of three questions that a dietician or health professional can ask to establish whether a patient is malnourished. These are:
1 Do they have a low BMI? Check the patient’s body mass index (BMI) by taking their weight and height measurements.

2 Has the patient lost weight unintentionally in the last 3-6 months?

3 Do they have any underlying health problems that may cause weight loss and malnourishment? Have they eaten anything in the last five days?
‘Scores for each question are added together to calculate each patient’s overall risk of malnutrition,’ says Smith. Once your score is known, a suitable care plan can be arranged.

What causes malnutrition?

Vegetarianism and veganism

‘A poor vegetarian or vegan diet may lack enough protein or vitamin B12 which are usually found in animal products, so it’s important to eat enough protein to replace the meat or fish,’ says Steinbock. This can be found in lentils, pulses (beans), seeds and nuts. ‘Vegan diets will lack vitamin B12 and this can be provided by a supplement.’

Eating the wrong foods

‘When people choose to avoid groups of foods, they could be missing nutrients,’ says Steinbock. This could be the case with people who follow diets that omit certain foods, anorexia and bulimia sufferers, and even obese people. ‘No single food provides everything needed for a balanced diet, the key is to eat a variety of different foods every day,’ adds Steinbock. The French have a good rule – eat at least three different coloured foods on your plate at each meal.

Alcoholism

‘In extreme cases, people may be drinking alcohol rather than eating food, so this would lead to malnutrition,’ says Steinbock. ‘It should be remembered alcohol provides calories so may mask some of the effects of a poor diet.’

Being old

Malnutrition among the elderly is quite common. ‘Older people are more likely to feel socially isolated and depressed, especially if recently bereaved,’ says Smith. ‘This may mean they lack appetite or motivation to cook.’ Chewing and swallowing can be a problem, especially if they have bad teeth or dentures. ‘Mobility problems may mean older people can’t get to the shops as much as they should, and could also make handling heavy pans and kitchen equipment difficult,’ adds Smith.

Illness

Certain illnesses can affect how the body absorbs nutrients, meaning you could become malnourished. Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis are inflammatory bowel conditions that impair the absorption of nutrients. ‘Coeliac disease is a classic condition that can lead to malnutrition, but once it’s identified and you’re put on a gluten-free diet, this can be managed,’ says Steinbock. ‘After a stroke, people may be left with dysphagia (a swallowing problem). Other conditions like multiple sclerosis and Parkinson’s disease may make chewing or swallowing difficult, so less is eaten.’

Being in hospital

BAPEN estimates one in three people admitted to hospital every year are already malnourished. Age Concern’s ‘Hungry to be heard’ is a campaign to tackle the problem. They claim hospitals sometimes give the wrong type of food to a patient, don’t help them cut up food and don’t encourage those with smaller appetites to eat. Age Concern are now working with the NHS to improve awareness of the problem among staff.

Low income

People on very low incomes often have poor diets. This may be because of a lack of awareness of healthy diets, or difficulty getting hold of ingredients. ‘A healthy diet doesn’t have to be expensive,’ says Steinbock. ‘Pick two-for-one offers on fruit and veg at supermarkets and buy in season.’ Bulking up meat dishes with extra veg or pulses (such as adding lentils to a pasta sauce) will keep costs down.

Treatment

This depends on the severity of the malnutrition. Once it has been identified using the MUST screening method, a care plan will be put in place and you will be monitored. You may need additional high calorie food supplements to help you put on weight quickly. If you’re severely malnourished, there’s also artificial support in the form of enteral (food is passed into your stomach through a tube) or parenteral (sterile nutrient-rich liquid is fed directly into your blood stream) feeding. ‘For less serious cases, ensure you eat little and often and keep your fluid intake up,’ says Smith. Eat a healthy diet containing the five main food groups; carbohydrates, fruit and veg, protein, dairy and fats.
The key to preventing malnutrition is to help raise awareness. ‘Malnutrition builds up over time,’ says Smith. ‘It can take up to a year before symptoms become clear.’ So if you, a friend or family member falls into one of the at-risk categories, be particularly vigilant.

What about me? I’m not malnourished!
‘Everywhere I look there’s advice on how to lose weight safely and properly, but nothing on how to put on weight. I’m naturally skinny, but still healthy and would like to put on weight. What’s the healthiest way?’ Melanie, Nottingham
Nutritionist Carina Norris says: ‘You’re right that just as it’s unhealthy to be overweight, it’s not a good idea to be underweight. When you need to put on weight healthily, you have to know the foods that are high in calories and energy, yet won’t increase your risk of heart disease and type 2 diabetes. The wrong way to gain weight is by fillingup on fatty foods like pizzas dripping with cheese, fatty meats, chips, ice cream, cakes and chocolate – a surefire way to clogged arteries. Instead, add foods to your diet that are calorific because they’re rich in the healthy unsaturated fats that are good for your health. Try snacking on unsalted nuts and seeds, adding avocado to salads, and drizzling olive oil (or stronger tasting oils such as sesame or walnut oil) over salads and steamed veg. Also try eating more oily fish – good for protein, and rich in heart-healthy omega-3 essential fatty acids. You can also increase your food intake by slipping in healthy snacks, and increasing your meal portion sizes.’

Words: Hannah Fox

Ida Diprose, 89
‘Infections and diseases like scarlet fever spread like wildfire in the Welsh village where I lived because everyone was housed in cramped conditions. When I was about five I had chickenpox and had to stay indoors for what seemed like months. There was no TV or radio so I developed a love of reading. I’m still an avid bookworm today and credit this for my sharp brain.
There was no NHS until 1948, so when we were ill we had to pay to see the doctor – we didn’t have much money so this was a rarity. I do remember the GP helping me with my sight as a child as I could only see through one eye. I was told I had amblyopia (a lazy eye), and I had to wear a patch over my good eye to train the bad one to be stronger, but this didn’t work. This condition is treatable today, but because I’ve had it for so long there is nothing that can now be done. It’s something I’ve got used to.
At 22, I had my first baby, Jill, at the height of the war in 1943 – it was usual for women to give birth at home and our house was near Richmond Park in Kingston, Surrey – a frequent bomb target as this is where the army was based. I was in labour for three days and had to go through a few air raids lying in bed as I couldn’t move – but I was more terrified about the birth than bombs. A maternity nurse arrived on a bicycle to help. We had no pain relief and I remember screaming and my mother saying: ‘I’ve had five babies, be quiet!’
Exercise has never played a big part in my life although in my late teens and 20s I was a keen ballroom dancer. My husband Ray and I used to take part in competitions – it was very energetic and kept me slim. Not that there was great pressure on women to look skinny in those days – the 1940s and 1950s were all about womanly curves and size 14 was the norm.
I also had a very strenuous job as a silver service waitress. I would carry huge heavy trays with one hand and my arm and back would ache like mad, but there was no health and safety in those days. In my 60s I developed arthritis of the spine and I’m sure it’s a result of all that heavy lifting.
Now I know more about nutrition from newspapers, my diet is better than ever and I eat a lot of fresh organic food. I have osteoporosis so I keep soya milk and yogurt in the fridge to help my bones. I wish I’d known more about the benefits of exercise so I could have kept my bones stronger.
My secret to a long, healthy life is take each day as it comes and be independent for as long as I can. I still live on my own and do my ironing despite nagging from my family – but taking it easy isn’t me!’

Jill Wheatley, 67
‘When I was about 10 I had acne. Back in the 1950s and 1960s I saw doctors who were old, male and very unsympathetic. I was prescribed an awful mud-like sludge to apply to my skin, which dried it out and made the problem worse.
Health wasn’t something people knew much about – it’s only in the past few decades that the emphasis has been on prevention rather than cure. However, my father was very forward thinking about nutrition and he gave me a dose of cod liver oil every day.
I didn’t bother much with fitness until I went to America to be an au pair when I was 18 in the 1960s. The exercise craze was just starting up there and the first fitness TV celebrity Jack LaLanne was becoming a household name. I came back to the UK with a Glamour Stretcher – an early form of a resistance band – complete with his record directing the exercises. Later on, in the 1980s, exercise became trendy and everyone was doing Jane Fonda’s “Feel The Burn” workout. I used to don my leotard and go to yoga and aerobic classes.
The fashion then was big hair, big shoulders and nipped-in waists so even though I wasn’t overweight I switched to low fat food and snacked on rye crackers and cottage cheese. During my early years I ate a lot of stodgy food – my gran would make me bread dipped in fat and I loved it. Until 10 years ago I’d always cooked with lard, put salt in everything and boiled my vegetables to death, but now, thanks to the media, I’m so much more informed about food. I wish I’d known more about the dangers of the sun when I was in my teens and 20s. I used to pride myself that I could sunbathe without putting any protection on and I never burnt. Now I can see the damage on my skin as I have horrible brown marks on my face and age spots on my hands.
Another health problem I could have avoided is the bunions that developed due to my love of winkle picker shoes in the 1960s. Five years ago I had an operation to remove them, and I wonder if the six months of pain and discomfort afterwards was worth it for the sake of fashion.  Like my mother, I have osteoporosis although it’s in the early stage, so I am taking steps to protect my bones with Pilates and dance classes, and I take calcium supplements.   There used to be an attitude that “doctor knows best”. Now people are able to research conditions for themselves. When I was going through menopause my GP immediately gave me a prescription for HRT. Now I would look at options on the internet first and find out about natural alternatives.
We’ve got good genes in our family – we’re pretty healthy and look younger than we are, but I think the secret of a long life is to take time out for things that make you happy.’

Jo Day, 37
‘I wasn’t particularly healthy up until my mid 20s. Before that I had a penchant for ready meals and high fat takeaways after a night out. Then I started working for a health magazine and the information rubbed off so I began including more fresh produce in my diet and went to the gym regularly – something I’ve stuck to until this day.
I’ve pushed my liver to its limits with all the alcohol I drank in my 20s. I guess I was part of the binge drinking culture – something that my mum and gran never experienced. But on hitting my 30s, and especially since having my son, Charlie, 18 months, I stick to the recommended alcohol limits and I feel better for it – I have more energy and my skin is clearer too.
My sister Lisa, 32, and I grew up in the 1970s and 1980s on traditional meals such as roasts, casseroles and pies – there was no “foreign” food in our house. Now I love Chinese and Indian dishes, especially healthy stir-fries. I want my son to enjoy a wide variety of foods so I vary his diet. He’s already eating garlic and I don’t think I tasted that until I was in my late teens.
I am mindful about thinning bones as this runs in my family. I do a body pump class with weights once a week to help build them up and I regularly eat dairy products so I’m hoping that will help ward off the disease.
Health scares do affect me – I remember the hard-hitting AIDS campaign in the 1980s when kids in my class spread rumours that you could catch it from a toilet seat! Now we have swine flu and I’m concerned about my son who is at a vulnerable age. I also worry about skin cancer as, like mum, I was a real sunworshipper. I got badly burnt on holiday when I was 13 and my skin came out in blisters and I’ve also used sunbeds in the past. I now wear factor 15 suncream and I get my skin checked regularly for suspicious moles.
I’m lucky to live in a time when we’re so aware of our health and the things we can do to prevent illness, but this can work the other way with scary media headlines making us paranoid. I think good health does mean being vigilant about physical signs, but also being aware of your mental health, and for me that means enjoying life as much as I can.’

Words: Jo Wheatley

Photo: Gemma Day

Kidnapping, terrorist attacks, money trouble, divorce… do we really want to expose our children to everyday reality? They’ll find out about life’s dark side soon enough, so surely we should just let them believe, temporarily at least, that the world is a happy, stress-free place where everyone treats people with respect? Well, it seems the experts think differently. According to Linda Blair, author of The Happy Child (Piatkus, £10.99), it’s wrong to shield your kids from life events. ‘Every time you protect your child you make them more vulnerable because they’ll be less able to cope when there is danger and you’re not there.’
However, there is a crucial difference between telling the truth and volunteering the truth. So don’t force them to watch the news but if they ask a probing question, don’t avoid it. ‘Kids will ask as many questions as they need answering,’ says Blair. ‘When they’ve had enough, they’ll let you know.’ There’s no ideal age to start being more open with children, she says, as we all develop at different rates. ‘But they’ll let you know when they’re ready because they’ll be more inquisitive,’ says Blair.

Scary news stories
‘If you think it’s important that your children know what’s going on in the world, you need to be with them while they’re watching or listening to the news,’ says clinical psychologist Elisabeth Dark. ‘Discuss what they’ve just heard and seen, so they can ask any questions there and then and make sure you reassure them that the reason these events are making news is because they’re rare.’
Often children pick up bites of half news from the playground, which, left unexplained, can be distressing for them. And many parents pass down their fears to their children (such as when Madeleine McCann disappeared), leaving children fearful of the world outside home and school. ‘You need to help them put it into context,’ says Blair. ‘For example – if you look at abduction rates, they haven’t changed significantly in the last 50 years.’
‘Horror stories involving children can also lead to an obsession with stranger danger making many children suspicious of their communities’, says parenting coach Dorothy Boswell. ‘Parents tell me with great pride that they’ve taught their children to scream and run away if anyone talks to them – but that includes the nice lady down the road saying “That’s a lovely bike, did you get it for Christmas?”’ In reality, children are much more likely to be hurt by someone they know well. The lesson? ‘Arm your children with the facts and don’t scare your kids unnecessarily.’

Money problems
This is one of the key causes of stress and one of the main reasons couples argue – but should we hide this stress from our children? ‘Our kids know when we’re stressed,’ says Blair. ‘They depend on us for our survival so they’re hard wired to pick up any nuances in our moods.’
So if you’re going though a financial sticky patch or one of you has been made redundant, explain and reassure. Blair suggests something like, ‘Daddy’s home a lot now because they don’t have space for him any more at work so we’re being really careful with money and we’re all going to make it work – together.’
Many parents think they’re being nice by shielding their kids from money issues or caving in to pester power, but their children often end up unable to understand the value of money or how to budget. ‘This isn’t fair to them,’ says Boswell. ‘They need to learn about money management and that you don’t need to be miserable, just because you haven’t got an endless supply of cash.’
So talk about ways to save money as a family – from turning off the lights to getting in a DVD and making your own popcorn instead of going to the cinema. ‘Being honest here is positive,’ says Boswell. ‘It’s about helping children problem-solve.’

Divorce
The one thing children want when parents are divorcing is information, says Boswell. That means, ‘where will I live, where will I go to school, am I going to see my friends, how will I tell my friends, where will my toys be?” They need practical information,’ she continues. ‘Leave out unnecessary explanations and details and don’t treat them as confidantes – they don’t need to know that daddy or mummy’s been unfaithful for instance.’
Most important, they need reassurance that it’s not their fault, that both parents will always love them, and that they will always be secure with a lovely warm home to live in.

Death and illness
Sickness or death of a relative or friend can be disturbing for children, particularly if they see the adults they rely on getting upset. Don’t pretend it’s not happening – just ask them if there’s anything they want to know and explain why you feel sad sometimes. ‘Answer their questions but don’t over burden them with information,’ says Blair. ‘Reassure them you’re there for them and give them plenty of attention.’
If grandma’s been ill, say she’s really sick so she can’t play with them like she used to but she still loves to see them. How you deal with death will depend on the age of your child and your religion. ‘A three year old will think a person is coming back after they die,’ says Blair, ‘It’s only when a child gets to near adolescence that they realise that death is permanent.’ She says that all you can do is answer their questions as honestly as you can and ‘If you believe in heaven or the afterlife, share that with them.’
For parenting advice log on to Dorothy Boswell on www.parenting-coaching.com

Is honesty always the best policy?
We’re constantly encouraging our kids to be honest – to tell the truth – but how often have they heard you telling a white one to get out of a difficult situation? ‘Lying is just a reality of life’, says Boswell. ‘If your kids hear you lying to a friend, explain why you said you were busy – that you just want to stay at home with them, for instance.’
‘We still need to teach our children that there’s a balance between honest and kind,’ says Boswell. ‘By saying to nanny, “my present’s horrid and I hate it!, they need to know that this will hurt her feelings.’ She suggests explaining to them what it feels like when they’re honest in this way and discussing why people occasionally lie.

Words: Karen Williamson

As we get older, it might seem no matter how much we try to keep active, nothing will shift those stubborn pounds or make it easier to get off the sofa. But don’t give up – research from Stanford University School of Medicine has shown that regular exercise in your 50s and beyond could reduce your risk of disability and death by improving cardiovascular fitness, lung capacity, bone health, and even memory.

‘It’s never too late to start feeling the benefits of exercise,’ says Dr Dawn Skelton, director of www.laterlife.com and reader in Ageing and Health at Glasgow Caledonian University. ‘A lot of us get put off because we think it might make a current health condition worse, but usually the opposite is true.’ So where should you start? ‘It can be difficult to keep motivated to exercise alone at home, but most local councils have fitness activity coordinators who can help you find other people that have the same goals,’ adds Skelton. ‘The most important thing is to start slowly and enjoy it!’ Take your pick from the following techniques to reap the rewards of exercise later in life.

Nordic Walking: Perfect for… losing weight
This isn’t just walking – this is Nordic walking. ‘We use specially designed walking poles that propel the body forward and work all the major muscle groups to give a great cardiovascular workout,’ explains Gill Stewart from Nordic Walking UK, ‘and because the poles offer additional support, it’s great for walkers who aren’t so steady on their feet.’ As this exercise works your upper body as well as your legs, it burns almost 50 per cent more calories than normal walking, which is great for those of us carrying a few extra pounds. Many post-menopausal women find their waist size increasing as their hormone levels change, and carrying excess weight around your middle can increase your chance of heart disease and diabetes, as well as putting you more at risk of cancer. ‘Regular Nordic walking can help you burn fat and lose weight, plus the propulsion of the poles means you’ll be able to work your body for longer than you usually would,’ says Stewart. To find an instructor or for more information, visit www.nordicwalking.co.uk.

Ballet: Perfect for… boosting  brain power
It isn’t just crosswords and Sudoku that can help keep your mind sharp – learning dance techniques can too. ‘Ballet has the capacity to challenge the mind as much as any other dance, but with less aggressive movements,’ says Louie Spence, artistic director of Edit Agency at Pineapple Dance Studios. A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that dancing is one of the only physical activities proven to reduce your chances of dementia – twice as much as reading – because it requires constant mental, as well as physical, attention. ‘There are only five feet and five arm positions in ballet, but because they can be combined together in hundreds of different ways, there’s always a new challenge,’ adds Spence. ‘Plus, we get a lot of older people who prefer ballet over other dances because it doesn’t require having a partner.’

Qigong: Perfect for… relaxing the mind
After the ‘Qigong wave’ of the 1980s, where thousands of people regularly gathered in Chinese stadiums to practice Qigong (also known as Chi Kung), this exercise has become ever more popular. It’s commonly described as the art of developing energy and works with the meridian system utilised in acupuncture. ‘Qigong is similar to t’ai chi, but the movements are simpler,’ says Frances Gaik, author of Managing Depression with Qigong (£12.99, Singing Dragon). ‘It’s a simple meditative movement where you focus your mind to move energy around your body, which activates the body’s own healing responses.’ And because this exercise focuses more on the mind than the body, anyone can do it. ‘I’ve taught Qigong to people with such bad back pain they’ve had to do the movements lying down, but they can reap the benefits just the same.’ Research has proven Qigong may help reduce blood pressure, anxiety and depression. ‘The focus is to concentrate and calm the mind, so it’s ideal for people suffering from insomnia, grief and depression – all conditions common in older adults,’ adds Gaik. Plus, once you learn the moves, you can do them anywhere, any time. The Spring Forest method of Chi Kung is simple enough for beginners; go to www.serenitysounds.co.uk for products.

Pilates: Perfect for… strong muscles
Once we hit 50, a fifth of a pound of our muscle mass is lost each year, so it’s important to increase muscle strength and repair as much as possible – and Pilates is the ideal exercise for this. ‘It focuses on learning where our core muscles sit within the body and how to engage them,’ explains Lynne Robinson, founder of Body Control Pilates, ‘so every single movement you do is working your muscles, even when you’re lying down.’ And according to Lynne, anyone can do it. ‘Pilates is the most accessible exercise I know because it’s progressive – we start with the basics and introduce other muscle groups and movements only when people have mastered the last ones.’ Pilates also targets your pelvic floor muscles, which inevitably weaken over time, often leading to stress incontinence. ‘Just 20 minutes of Pilates at home each day is enough to maintain good muscle strength but ideally you’ll learn the basics from a qualified instructor,’ advises Lynne. The Pilates Bible by Lynne Robinson (£18.99, Kyle Cathie) is out 4 Jan 2010.

Nia: Perfect for… flexibility
Nia is one of the newest and most exciting exercises around, having only been created in 1983 by a husband and wife who wanted a more pleasurable way of staying fit. A typical routine consists of modern dance movements alongside yoga-type visualization techniques. ‘Nia mixes aspects of martial arts and healing to create a unique exercise,’ says brown belt teacher Sam Hyde (www.nianow.com). Improving flexibility is a main focus, achieved by following the natural movement of the body rather than working against it. As the average adult loses 8-10cm of lower back and hip flexibility over the course of their lifetime, it’s key to preserve as much as possible to be able to live independently. ‘In classes for older exercisers, we focus on movements and imagery necessary to everyday life, like changing a lightbulb or opening a door, and learn how to achieve these in a way that doesn’t push the body or cause it pain,’ adds Hyde. Visit www.niacardiff.co.uk for a selection of DVDs and books.

Rebounding: Perfect for… strong bones
Bouncing on a mini-trampoline might not sound like an exercise fit for older adults, but Laura Woods, exercise and lifestyle supervisor at Esporta’s Warwickshire Club, disagrees. ‘My classes are full of older women who have found rebounding more enjoyable and beneficial than any other exercise they’ve tried,’ she says. Maybe that’s down to its promise to strengthen the skeletal system and help ward off osteoporosis, a common condition for post-menopausal women following changes in hormone levels. In fact, the International Menopause Society claims half of women over 50 will suffer a bone fracture caused by osteoporosis. Research from NASA found rebounding can prevent a loss of bone mass because returning to the bed after jumping increases the G-force (gravitational load) on the body. ‘Plus the rebounder absorbs the impact of each movement so your bones and joints don’t have to,’ adds Woods. If you can’t make it to a class, invest in a bed for your home (www.trampolinesgb.com).

Your exercise checklist

What to look out for before starting any exercise regime:

• Warm up Research shows spending 10-15 minutes easing into your routine can boost metabolism and increase flexibility for your workout.
• Tell your doctor Regular exercise will help lessen symptoms of most health conditions, but ask your GP if you’re worried.
• Kit yourself out Make sure you have suitable footwear, clothing and equipment for the exercise you choose. Ask your instructor what you should buy.
• Choose your soundtrack Listening to music while you exercise can not only make it more enjoyable, but also increase your motivation.
• Keep hydrated Carry water when you work out – it’s vital to stay hydrated even if you don’t feel hot or sweaty.

Words: Victoria Joy

So your tummy’s larger than it used to be, and your dress size has slowly crept up – but your clothes can hide the bulge, so what have you got to worry about? Quite a lot, say medical experts. ‘Some 20 per cent of adults have an increased risk of serious health problems like heart disease, type 2 diabetes and cancer due to abdominal obesity,’ says Dr Ian Campbell of Weight Concern. Worryingly, more women are suffering from abdominal obesity than ever before, so we could be sitting on a health time bomb. ‘Traditionally, men were more at risk of these diseases – but changing body shapes are now putting women at risk,’ he says. ‘Men and women tend to store fat in different ways – men around the middle, a classic apple shape, which leads to serious health problems, and women on the thighs and hips, a pear shape, which is less of a health risk.’ But as more women put on weight around their middle many older women will be at risk of illnesses associated with men.

Good vs bad fat
And it’s not the inches you can pinch that are the problem – the scary fat is the abdominal or visceral fat which wraps around the internal organs. Visceral fat reduces the body’s ability to handle insulin and this is what leads to heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, stroke and type 2 diabetes. ‘As you become obese, fat cells increasingly produce inflammatory proteins,’ says Dr Campbell. ‘These proteins, in a way we don’t yet know, cause the body to become resistant to the effects of insulin. As a result, more fat is taken into the walls of the blood vessels leading to narrowed arteries, reduced blood flow and heart disease.’
Links have been made with breast and colorectal cancer, too, but the reasons aren’t fully understood. ‘We do know, though, that one third of cancers are clearly linked to exercise and diet,’ says Dr Campbell. Other research, published in Neurology, found that people with the most abdominal fat in their 40s were nearly four times more likely to develop dementia than those with the least belly fat.
Cruelly, at a time when belly fat is getting seriously bad for our health, our bodies seem to be trying their hardest to hang on to it. For a start, our metabolic rate decreases as we age so we need fewer calories just to stay the same weight. And after the age of 40, women lose about half a pound of muscle a year. The more muscle we have the more calories we burn at rest, so once we start to lose muscle, we burn fewer calories.
Odd as it may sound, our bodies may not actually want to lose weight. ‘There’s a theory that we have a set point where weight stabilises – when we’re young, we don’t think about it and are naturally regulated by our appetites,’ says Dr Campbell. But as we get older, stressful life events such as divorce mean we eat more and put on weight. Over time our bodies get used to being bigger so our body then fights to be this new heavier weight. ‘The set point has been reset and it’s harder to lose weight,’ says Dr Campbell.
According to Dr Marilyn Glenville, author of Fat Around the Middle (Kyle Cathie, £9.99), the stress of children leaving home or divorce can also have a hormonal effect. During stress, the body releases cortisol – called the fight or flight response – which in the past would have helped us flee from danger. ‘This cortisol tends to trigger cravings for fatty, sugary foods because the body thinks you should refuel after all this fighting or fleeing,’ says Dr Glenville.
But if you don’t use this energy, your body deposits the fat and glucose as fat – around the middle of your body. ‘This is because it’s closer to the liver where it can most quickly be converted back to energy if needed,’ she says.
During the menopause, many women find their body shape changes and gets bigger around the waist. ‘This can be due to genetics, but it can also be because of the drop in oestrogen levels,’ says Dr Glenville.

Take action
Measure your waist
If you think you may need to tackle your belly bulge, work out your hip to waist ratio – the test currently favoured by experts – by dividing your waist figure in cm or inches by your hip figure. If the result is greater than 0.8 you need to take action. For men, the figure is 0.95. ‘A simple waist measurement is often enough to detect a problem,’ says Dr Campbell. ‘Women with a waist size over 35 inches have the same level of risk of type 2 diabetes and heart disease as clinically obese people.’
Although it can be harder to shift this weight as you get older the good news is that, when we start to lose weight, it’s the unhealthy visceral fat that we lose first.

Set goals
‘The best way to lose weight is to have a good reason to lose it – a long-term goal like having enough energy for your grandchildren rather than just a short-term one like losing half a stone for a wedding,’ says Dr Campbell.

Eat well
Avoid very low calorie diets – they will slow down your metabolism to hold on to your fat stores, says Dr Glenville. And don’t cut out fat either – you need a certain amount of fat, particularly good fats found in olive oil and oily fish, to remain healthy. ‘Don’t diet at the expense of getting the nutrients you need – calcium, iron and vitamin D, for instance,’ says Claire Williamson of the British Nutrition Foundation. ‘As we get older the absorption of vitamins is affected, so it’s even more important to get these from your diet.’ Dr Glenville suggests eating little and often to keep blood sugar levels stable and prevent the roller coaster highs and cravings for sweet foods.

Deal with stress
By cutting down on stress, you’ll help reduce the cortisol levels that encourage your body to store fat around the middle, says Dr Grenville. ‘Try supplements – in particular vitamin C, magnesium, zinc and the B vitamins, which tackle the deficiencies stress may have caused,’ she says. ‘They’ll help your body cope with future stress, too.’ She also suggests giving yourself a stress MOT – look at work and home life and learn a few coping strategies such as prioritising, exercising regularly and putting yourself first. Research from the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Centre found that yoga – great for stress as well as toning – helps prevent middle age spread and aids weight loss in 45-55 year olds.

Be active
A study from Johns Hopkins University, in the US, found that older people who take even moderate exercise dramatically lower their risk of heart disease and diabetes specifically by lowering their abdominal fat. Start by walking for at least half an hour a day, five to seven times a week. Initially, this can be broken down to three blocks of 10 minutes. To increase your stamina, you can introduce interval training where you alternate between two paces – for instance two minutes fast walking, followed by two minutes slow.
See a GP or trainer for a weightlifting programme – building muscle means you use more energy, even at rest. Perform a daily tummy toner to attack those deeper muscles. Get down on all fours and draw in your bellybutton up towards your spine, hold for 10 seconds, then relax for 10 seconds. Repeat this 15 times every morning.

1 When did you go through the menopause?
While the age you started your periods doesn’t affect the age that you’re likely to go through the menopause, your mother’s menstrual pattern may do. The tendency towards premature ovarian failure (POF) – which affects around one per cent of women under the age of 40 – can be inherited; a study conducted by the University of Auckland found that POF is strongly linked to a genetic mutation.
Your survival guide There’s nothing that you can do to prevent an early menopause, but if you know that your mum stopped her periods early, you can try to plan ahead. Trying for children sooner rather than later is wise.

2 Have you ever had your breasts screened?
Although it’s rare, you have an increased risk of developing breast cancer if your mum has previously suffered from it. If your mum hasn’t been for breast screening and she’s over 50, encourage her to do so. ‘We know that early detection of the disease can mean more effective treatment and the possibility of a better outcome,’ says Jackie Harris, clinical nurse specialist at Breast Cancer Care.
Fewer than 10 per cent of cases are inherited, but you still have a greater chance of developing breast cancer if one of your relatives developed it before the age of 40, a close relative had it in both breasts, or two close relatives on the same side of the family had either breast or ovarian cancer.
Your survival guide ‘Get into the habit of looking at and feeling your breasts,’ says Harris. ‘You should be checking for lumps, changes in size and shape of your breasts, and swelling, rashes or discharge.’

3 Do you have problems with your blood sugar levels?
There’s a definite link between developing type 2 diabetes and your parents suffering from the disease. Studies show that if a parent developed type 2 diabetes before the age of 50, your risk is one in seven. It’s also believed that the risk is greater if it’s your mother who has the disease. Environmental factors also play a part – if you are obese and do little exercise, you’re more likely to develop type 2 diabetes.
Your survival guide Aim to do 30 minutes of aerobic activity three times a week and eat a healthy, balanced diet. ‘Ensure that you’re a healthy weight,’ adds registered nutritionist Anita Bean, author of Slim Secrets (Virgin Books, £10.99). ‘Include a high carb food at each meal, but opt for low GI wherever possible, such as wholegrain pasta, sweet potatoes and basmati rice.’ Recent studies have also linked type 2 diabetes with a lack of sleep, so make sure that you get at least eight hours’ sleep per night.

4 Have you ever suffered from depression?
f a member of your close family suffers from depression, it doesn’t mean that you will, too. However, studies have found that anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder do have genetic links. A study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry found that siblings or children of those diagnosed with chronic major depression before the age of 31 had more than a two to one chance of developing the disorder.
Your survival guide ‘Just because you’re predisposed to developing depression, it doesn’t mean that you’re going to get it,’ says Gladeana McMahon, co-director for the Centre for Stress Management. ‘However, you need to think about your lifestyle – long-term exposure to stress hormones can trigger depression. ‘Research suggests that people who use their support networks are less likely to become depressed, so family and friends are important.’

5 Does anyone in the family have menstrual problems?
If a close relative suffers from endometriosis, the chances of you developing the condition are greatly increased. This occurs when the tissue normally found in the lining of the womb develops instead in the abdominal cavity, causing pain, bleeding, inflammation and difficulty conceiving. Having a sister with the condition increases your risk fivefold, according to research published in the journal of Human Reproduction.
Your survival guide If endometriosis runs in your family, go to your GP to get checked out. Studies show that women who exercise two to four hours per week have less chance of developing the condition.

6 Was your pregnancy straightforward?
Some pregnancy health conditions, such as pre-eclampsia, can be hereditary. This potentially fatal condition, characterised by high blood pressure, sudden swelling and intense headaches, is passed on by both men and women.
Scientists at the University of Bergen, Norway, found women whose mothers had pre-eclampsia had over double the usual risk of developing the condition themselves. Around five to eight per cent of pregnancies are affected worldwide, causing 15 per cent of premature births.
Your survival guide Attend regular antenatal appointments with your midwife to keep an eye out for symptoms. Daily calcium supplements are thought to reduce the likelihood of pre-eclampsia in high-risk women, but never take any supplements without checking with your GP or midwife first.

7 What’s your cholesterol level?
High cholesterol runs in families, and too much can increase your risk of heart problems. The Department of Health recommends that your total cholesterol level should be less than 5.0mmol/l. However, other experts suggest that those at risk of coronary disease should aim for a level of less than 4.0mmol/l.
Your survival guide If your cholesterol is high, then your GP will probably suggest frequent tests. ‘Taking enough exercise, eating a healthy diet and not smoking will help to lower your cholesterol levels,’ advises Bean.

8 Have you had any problems with your bowel movements?
Bleeding, changes in bowel movements lasting more than four weeks, extreme tiredness and pain or a lump in your abdomen can be symptoms of bowel cancer – 10 per cent of cases are hereditary. If either of your parents or a sibling was diagnosed with bowel cancer under the age of 45, talk to your GP, as you may be eligible for genetic screening, according to Deborah Alsina, director of services at Bowel Cancer UK (www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk).
Your survival guide Reduce your risk of bowel cancer by eating a diet high in fibre, says Alsina. ‘Include five portions of fruit and vegetables every day and limit your consumption of red meat to 80g per day,’ she adds. ‘Lastly, be symptom-aware, as bowel cancer is highly treatable if caught early.’

9 How good is your eyesight?
It’s likely that one of your parents wears glasses, but some eye conditions, like glaucoma, need to be taken very seriously. Chronic glaucoma, where the optic nerve is damaged either by pressure in the eye or by weakness in the optic nerve, can cause permanent sight damage if left untreated.
Your surivial guide ‘Regular eye examinations are important if you have a family history of the condition and you’re over 40,’ says Dr Susan Blakeney, optometric advisor at the College of Optometrists. ‘Know what’s normal for you – place one hand over each eye to check for any sight deterioration. Eating well can help – foods rich in beta-carotene and lutein are thought to be good for vision.’

10 Have you broken any bones?
This doesn’t necessarily mean your bones are fragile, but women are at a greater risk than men of developing osteoporosis. As 80 per cent of your bone make-up is hereditary, if your mum has ever broken her hip, you should take preventative measures.
Your survival guide According to Sarah Leyland, senior nurse at the National Osteoporosis Society, the key is eating a balanced diet rich in calcium. ‘Allow sensible exposure to sunlight, as this produces vitamin D, necessary for calcium absorption,’ she adds. She also advises avoiding excessive alcohol consumption, as this can raise your risk of fractures.

You’re a model parent – from solving quadratic equations to researching Henry VIII’s wives, you’re always on hand to help your children with their homework. It’s giving them the edge over their classmates, right? Not necessarily. The latest research shows that if you really want your children to excel at school, you’ll be better off helping their emotional intelligence – or EI.
Psychologists at the University of Central Lancashire found that children with greater emotional intelligence did better in SATs and GCSEs, and that children with lower IQs often did better than those with higher ones as long as their EI was higher. ‘Faced with failure, a student low on IQ but who is emotionally intelligent will be able to manage their feelings about failure, reconcile poor performance and work to improve,’ says research leader Dr Pamela Qualter. They also tend to be better at setting goals and dealing with the stress of exams, she adds.
It’s not just academic performance that benefits either. According to John Gottman, author of Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child (available from www.amazon.co.uk), a child with high EI is more able to cope with everyday highs and lows, relates better to others and forms stronger friendships than one with lower EI.
Luckily, we’re not stuck with our emotional intelligence and there’s plenty we can do to improve it. ‘Emotional intelligence is laid down in childhood but you can still learn a lot of inter-personal skills in adulthood,’ says psychologist Dr Pat Spungin of www.raisingkids.co.uk. And working with your child’s emotions will help you look at your own emotional intelligence, says Dr Qualter. ‘It’s also a great excuse to have a lot of fun in the process.’

Talk about feelings
‘Children copy their parents, so, if you don’t talk about emotions, your children will be emotionally illiterate,’ says parenting coach Dorothy Boswell. Say things like ‘I feel sad that Granny is in hospital’ or ‘I feel nervous about this new job’. And don’t forget the positive emotions too, such as ‘I feel happy when we watch DVDs together’.
‘You should also ask your children about their emotions,’ says Boswell. ‘“How did you feel when your friends didn’t play with you?”, for instance.’ It can help to talk about your own childhood experiences and how you dealt with them.
And never belittle their feelings. If your child admits they’re scared to do something, don’t say, ‘I don’t know why you’re scared – there’s nothing to be scared of’. Say it can be scary to try new things. You may need to give very young children the words to describe their feelings – disappointed, frightened or excited, for instance.

Acknowledge their emotions
‘In everyday life, notice your child’s emotions,’ says Dr Spungin. ‘Say, “I can see from your face that something has upset you”.’ If a young child is angry or upset, show him that you’re taking his feelings seriously before trying to pacify or distract him. ‘With older children, let them know that it’s fine to feel angry – what’s important is what you do with it,’ says Boswell. ‘By asking the right questions, you encourage them to find their own solutions.’

Read and play together
Working out what other people think is a large part of EI. When you’re reading or watching TV, Dr Qualter suggests talking about the emotions of the characters in the stories and how these might affect the plot. Books also increase the number of feeling words your child knows – characters are not just excited, for instance, but can be elated, overjoyed or thrilled.
Young children can also learn the effects their feelings can have on their behaviour through pretend play. ‘It’s fun and teaches children how emotions affect the way other people feel and behave,’ says Dr Qualter.

Deal with conflict
‘Ideally, don’t get angry and lose your temper with your children,’ says Dr Qualter. ‘But it happens – and when it does, apologise and calm down to talk through the problem.’ If your children see you and your partner arguing, they should also see that, in the end, you work things out.
‘People with high EI learn to remove themselves from a conflict situation for a while, perhaps about 20 minutes, to let their emotions adjust,’ says Dr Qualter. ‘Then they come to the discussion again calmer and more composed.’ Seeing their parents do this could be a good lesson for children.

Be open with children
‘We often try to protect children from problems,’ says Dr Qualter, ‘but they are very perceptive so they will build up their own ideas of what is happening and why.’ She says it’s important for parents to talk to children about family decisions and problems – without frightening them. ‘It’s another chance to teach them about emotions and appropriate responses,’ she says.

Teach them it’s OK to fail
‘We all want our children to be successful at school,’ says Boswell. ‘In reality, children who have an easy ride and are unused to failing often don’t know how to bounce back the first time they encounter failure.’ She suggests allowing your child to fail from a young age. ‘Let your two-year-old hold a drink and spill it – and show them it doesn’t really matter,’ she says. This helps them realise it’s alright to fail sometimes.
‘And if your child has done badly in maths homework, for instance, encourage them to think back about how they could have done it differently or whether they could have asked the teacher for help earlier on,’ says Boswell. ‘In other words, help them work out their own solutions by asking them questions and listening.’

Mind your language
The language you use makes a big difference to the way your children perceive your emotions. The general rules of EI thinking are that you should label your feelings rather than label your children, take responsibility for your feelings rather than blaming your children, and suggest rather than tell your children what to do. So try our low to high EI swaps:

After a clash with your child

LOW EI: ‘You’re making me angry.’

HIGH EI: ‘I feel upset and angry when you don’t listen to me.’

Before leaving the house

LOW EI: ‘Get your hat and gloves.

’HIGH EI: ‘What do you need to be ready for school?’

When you’re tired

LOW EI: ‘Leave Mummy alone.

’HIGH EI: ‘What do you think will make Mummy feel better?’

To your teenager

LOW EI: ‘You can’t go there or come back at that time.

’HIGH EI: ‘I don’t want you to go there because I worry about you. Sorry, but that’s how I feel.’

When talking about another child’s behaviour

LOW EI: ‘What an idiot!’

HIGH EI: ‘He seems like an angry boy.’

Further information
- For a consultation with Dorothy Boswell or for details of her courses and workshops, visit www.parenting-coaching.com.
- If you think your child needs some help, visit www.u-think.org.uk – a computer programme developed by Dr Pamela Qualter and her team to help children boost their EI.

Words: Karen Williamson

Every month before my period I seemed to have excruciating pain,’ says 25-year-old Laura Wootton. ‘With that came exhaustion, bloating, headaches, tummy upsets, shooting pains through my back and legs, constant hot flushes, skin breakouts and mood swings. I would go to a pharmacy for help, only to end up sliding down the front of the counter, consumed with pain.’
It may sound extreme, but Laura’s endometriosis symptoms aren’t unusual. ‘The condition is caused when cells lining the womb (endometrium) appear in other areas of the body, most commonly the pelvic area, the lining of the abdomen, Fallopian tubes and ovaries,’ explains Bruce Ramsay, consultant gynaecologist and a spokesperson for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists. ‘They can even get into your blood, lungs, eyes and brain.’ During your monthly cycle, the hormone oestrogen stimulates the development of endometrium in preparation for your period – and it has the same effect on endometrial tissue outside the womb. The difference with the patches of endometriosis elsewhere in the body is that there’s nowhere for the blood to be excreted, and it ends up becoming trapped, causing inflammation, pain and formation of scar tissue (adhesions). Sometimes, in extreme cases, the tissue can even stick organs together.
The severity of symptoms varies and that’s why many women put up with the discomfort, thinking it’s just period pain. ‘Endometriosis is underdiagnosed,’ says Diane Hicks from charity Endometriosis UK. ‘It takes approximately three years for a woman to even go to her doctor with her symptoms, and up to eight years to be officially diagnosed. Many accept it as part of being a woman.’ But it’s important to get a diagnosis as, not only can it be extremely debilitating, endometriosis is also linked to infertility, with an estimated 30–40 per cent of women with the condition having trouble conceiving.

What are the symptoms?
Common signs of endometriosis include:
- Painful, heavy or irregular periods
- Pain during or after sex
- Difficulty getting pregnant, or infertility
- Pain on opening bowels, including bleeding and IBS-like symptoms
- Fatigue

‘The difficulty in diagnosis is recognising whether these symptoms are a result of endometriosis, or a problem in their own right,’ says Ramsay. The pain depends more on where the endometriosis is rather than how much of it you have.
We don’t know what causes it for certain, but there are a few theories:
Retrograde menstruation may be a common cause. ‘This is when blood from the uterus during a period flows back into the Fallopian tubes and the abdomen,’ says Ramsay. It probably happens to most of us, but in some women, the endometrial tissue can attach itself to the ovaries and bladder, and travel to other areas of the body.
Genes If your mother was affected, you’re at higher risk.
Immune dysfunction ‘For some, a weak immune system means they can’t fight off the endometriosis,’ says Ramsay.
Environmental toxins Studies in the early 1990s discovered a link with a toxin called dioxin, created when plastics such as PVC are burned and their gases are released into the atmosphere.
Metaplasia is a process where one type of cell morphs into another. ‘This may explain why, in endometriosis, womb lining cells can spontaneously appear in other areas of the body,’ says Ramsay.

What the doctor orders
There’s no guaranteed cure, so treatment is all about managing endometriosis.A doctor will usually start off by prescribing some form of hormone treatment such as the contraceptive pill or Mirena coil, which release hormones and prevent the build-up of lining in the womb,’ says Hicks. But these can cause side effects and aren’t suitable if you’re trying for a baby. The next step may be a laparoscopy: ‘This is a keyhole procedure that allows a surgeon to identify where in the body the endometriosis is, and then use a laser to remove it,’ says Hicks. The final option is a hysterectomy – but only if you don’t want more children.

Explore the natural route
‘As endometriosis is an oestrogen-sensitive condition, controlling levels of the hormone is an important step for helping you lessen your symptoms, and a good place to start is your diet,’ says Helen Heap, a nutritional therapist at the Dr Marilyn Glenville Clinic.
Go organic ‘Xenoestrogens are man-made compounds that mimic the effect of oestrogens. There are high levels in today’s food and water due to increased use of the Pill and HRT (which passes through into the water supply), as well as intensive farming, with livestock being pumped with hormones,’ says Heap. ‘So go organic where possible and avoid too much red meat, caffeine and alcohol, which are all inflammatory and may worsen the condition.’
Up your fruit and veg Getting your five-a-day is important – but load up on tomatoes in particular. A US study found the lycopene they contain cuts chemical activity that leads to endometriosis build-ups by up to 90 per cent.
Get well oiled Essential fatty acids are good for endometriosis as they are anti-inflammatory,’ says Heap. ‘Eat plenty of oily fish, nuts, seeds and avocados, or take a fish oil supplement.’ Bromelain and evening primrose oil supplements are anti-inflammatories, too.
Help for cramps Magnesium is a muscle relaxant and has been shown to have a beneficial effect, so a supplement may help reduce pain.
Detox your liver Your liver is responsible for ridding your body of the excess oestrogen that can encourage endometriosis, so give it a helping hand. ‘Cruciferous vegetables, such as broccoli or cabbage, contain a compound called indole-3-carbinol, which helps detoxify the liver,’ says Heap. ‘The herbal supplement milk thistle may also help.’
Be alternative ‘Two popular alternative therapies for managing endometriosis pain are acupuncture and reflexology,’ says Hicks. ‘Many women like to try natural treatments as opposed to being completely reliant on hormone therapy and traditional pain relief.’

So the good news is, it doesn’t have to take over your life. A combination of conventional and natural treatments is often the most successful way to treat endometriosis – see what works best.
- Visit Endometriosis UK at www.endometriosis-uk.org or call its free helpline on 0808 808 2227.

Famous sufferers
Dame Kelly Holmes has endometriosis, but managed to run her way to double Olympic gold at the Athens games in 2004.
Emma Bunton The ex-Spice girl and Strictly contestant gave birth to baby boy Beau last year despite having endometriosis.
Louise Redknapp beat the condition to give birth to Charley and Beau (yes, really!).

‘Diet and supplements helped my endometriosis’
‘I noticed symptoms after my second pregnancy,’ says Michelle Middleton, 31, from Yorkshire. ‘I’d been on the Pill before my pregnancies, but suddenly I was exhausted, had long, heavy periods, pain during intercourse and bowel problems. I hadn’t even heard of the condition when I was diagnosed in January 2008 after a laparoscopy. My GP prescribed the hormone treatment Zoladex to put me into a pseudo-menopause, but it left me tired, bloated and feeling out of control. ‘I decided to take the natural route and came off the medication. I revamped my diet by cutting out caffeine, reducing my intake of red meat, dairy and alcohol, and upping my oily fish, fruit and vegetables. I also started taking evening primrose oil and multivitamins, which really helped balance my mood. Aromatherapy massages helped release tension. For many sufferers, it’s about educating yourself about the condition, and finding a way to manage the symptoms. I’ve got two small children, so it’s vital I take control of endometriosis as much as I can – I can’t take time off. And I do feel more positive about being able to deal with it in my own way.’

Words: Hannah Fox